Everyday I feel like I get a little bit closer to “figuring life out.” I’ve always considered myself to be a relatively levelheaded and balanced person, but somehow I used to constantly feel that something was still missing. Depending on the day, if you were to have asked me what I thought was missing in my life, I might have responded by saying that the missing element was either a romantic partner, or for me to be at my ideal weight, or I might have even gone as far as to say something shallow as how I wasn’t happy with my financial situation.
These days, even though all of the previous answers could still apply, I don’t feel the same way at all. I still don’t have someone to share my life with, at least not romantically, I’m still not at my ideal weight, and I’m still not making the amount of money that I think someone of my intellectual caliber should be making. (I always have to bring it up, eh? But what can I say? I’m a smart woman and I love it! LOL) Modesty aside, the difference is that now I don’t really consider these things as being necessary or sufficient for inner peace anymore.
I’m not going to lie, I’d love to have reached my ideal weight by now, or to have someone to call my own, but the lack of these things don’t make or break me anymore. FACT: The weight is coming off and I will reach my ideal weight eventually. Most importantly, I’m making lifelong changes with regards to my nutrition and fitness, and feel healthier than ever. The romantic situation is a bit more complicated, since it doesn’t depend entirely on me. But, the truth is, I’m not really looking for love at this very moment. I know this will sound incredibly arrogant and whatnot, but I really do consider myself to be much more evolved than my male counterparts here (and by here, I mean Honduras.) Just to give you and idea, even when I was in high school here, I never connected with the Honduran men; I felt an affinity, almost exclusively, to the international students. That doesn’t mean that if an equally fabulous Honduran comes along, I’ll reject him solely on the basis of being Honduran. No, I’m not that big of a bitch. I do give people a chance (even if my intuition and first impressions are usually spot on.) But, the truth is that right now, and I quote Mr. John Mayer, “I’m perfectly lonely, with a simple little kind of free.” If it comes, it comes. Simple enough.
In any case, I sidetracked for a bit there, I truly attribute my newfound sense of wellbeing to the fact that I am striving to maintain balance in the 4 dimensions of my life. Some of you might have heard about this before, and even if you haven’t, I’m sure you could figure it out on your own, but the 4 dimensions of life are: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.
I’m doing phenomenally in terms of the physical dimension. I’m eating right, exercising everyday, and haven’t gotten sick in the longest time. Probably the only unhealthy habit that I have right now is that I smoke the hookah a little bit too frequently. But, it helps me relax and is always done in a social atmosphere, so I don’t feel bad about it at all. Besides, even though I prioritize health a lot more than I used to, I’m still not one of those crazy, obsessive people who give up all of life’s simple pleasures for the sake of health (I don’t think I’d ever be one either – I’m way too much of a hedonist.) So, physical dimension: ✓
I’m also doing great in the mental dimension. What can I say people? I’m a nerd. Those who know me know that I will always be a student, even if I’m not enrolled in school. I love learning. Always have, always will. I’m currently taking an online course called “How to listen to and understand opera,” which is amazing! I’ve also been studying for the next level of the JLPT (Japanese Language Proficiency Test), which I’m planning to take either this year or next year (it depends on my whereabouts.) Furthermore, I’ve been actively studying Italian by translating newspaper articles or passages from books into English, and then translating them back into Italian. Not to mention that I’m reading tons and tons of books; currently on “Predictably Irrational,” by Dan Ariely and “This Side of Paradise,” by F. Scott Fitzgerald. As you can see, my intellectual needs are definitely being met, and so I give the mental dimension a ✓.
Emotionally speaking, I’m okay. I could be better, but I’m at a much better place than I was a year or even a few months ago. I’m slowly learning to forgive and let go of the things and people from my past that hurt me, including myself. Whenever someone would hurt me, I’d always attribute it to a personal shortcoming. For instance, “he left me because I’m not smart enough, or I’m not attractive enough. Blah, blah, blah.” Nowadays (and this has taken a lot of work and quite honestly a rewiring of my brain), I first try to objectively understand the person who hurt me. In a way, I try to put myself in their shoes, hoping that if I see things from their perspective, it’ll be easier to understand the personal circumstances that enabled them to hurt me – making the process of forgiveness much easier. (Note: forgiving someone doesn’t mean forgetting about what happened, or condoning them for what they did to you, which is something that people sometimes misinterpret. However, forgiving is a necessary element to move on with your life. End of story.) In any case, the goal is to essentially realize that if someone hurt you, it wasn’t necessarily your fault. Sometimes, their actions could be attributed to something as simple as: you reminded the person of what they don’t like about themselves, and they took it out on you. That said, I truly am working on my emotional wellbeing everyday and feel that I’m finally making significant progress. I’ve found that positive self-talk really seems to help. Tell yourself that you’re great everyday. Hell, I’ll even let you use my word, “fabulous!” Hehe. And with that, I give the emotional dimension a ✓.
We finally reach the spiritual one. Many people (and I have to admit that I would have included myself in this category in the past) tend to think that spirituality equates religion. Religion certainly plays a role in defining your spirituality, but they are by no means equal, nor is religion the only thing that defines your spirituality. So that we are all on the same page here, let me quote Wikipedia by defining spirituality as “the inner path that allows a person to discover his/her true essence; the deepest values by which a person lives.” I’ve been using the term “awareness” quite frequently in my recent posts, and it’s what I’ve come to equate to my own spirituality. I firmly believe to my core that we all have not only the capability, but most importantly the responsibility to be truly aware of ourselves and of our place in the world. By knowing what values I consider to be the most important, I am able to design my life to be the pursuit of those values. Consequently, this gives me a paradigm with which to develop and further my relationships with others, whether as individuals or as a part of a community. To put it simply, spirituality involves knowing what it is that makes you tick. Lately, I’ve been favoring a holistic view of the universe, in which we are all parts of a whole, and where as a result, all of our actions, by means of a ripple effect, can come to influence others. But, I won’t get too much into that right now. Let me add that prayer and meditation are the two practices mostly associated with spirituality, although personally, I’ve been focusing mostly on the latter. If I’ve been successful, my sense of spirituality should be somewhat implicit in all of the things that I say. So, again, I won’t spend much time rambling on about it. If anything, I just want you to take away the importance of truly being in tune with yourself, to know yourself. Spiritual dimension: ✓
And there you have it: my personal guide to inner peace. It’s all about balance. I’m not going to lie; it’s not easy. You truly have to be on top of all of four of these dimensions to have a sense of wellbeing. And I’ve found that just as soon you’re tapping yourself in the back for leading a balanced life, some little bastard can come in and ruin it all. You might remember something hurtful that someone once said, or you might binge on chocolate, but there will always be something to throw you off track. So what do you do? You send that little devil back to where it came from, you pick yourself up, and you keep moving forward. Remember, you’re striving for balance, not perfection. Balance.
This is wisdom people, 25 years in the making, and I'm sharing it with all of you for free. :)
