Without you... Dedicated to all those I miss.

It's October and all sorts of creepy things are happening. Look at me, I took a nap and woke up to find that I had Usher's voice!!!

In all seriousness, this is just me being silly. I miss all of you guys so much (yes, that includes you dear reader) that I decided to bring some of my "musical spunk" to you, via this blog. I felt that it was my duty to let you all know how much my heart is aching "without you," and what better way to do so than through music, eh? I absolutely adore this song!!! I particularly love how its lyrics are so sad, heart-wrenching, even, yet the melody is so upbeat and optimistic. So, this is also a ploy to get you to listen to this song, if you haven't already (which I'm sure most of you have, though!)

Without further ado...



David Guetta feat. Usher - Without you

I can't win, I can't reign
I will never win this game
Without you, without you
I am lost, I am vain,
I will never be the same
Without you, without you

I won't run, I won't fly
I will never make it by
Without you, without you
I can't rest, I can't fight
All I need is you and I,
Without you, without you

Oh oh oh!
You! You! You!
Without...
You! You! You!
Without...you

Can't erase, so I'll take blame
But I can't accept that we're estranged
Without you, without you
I can't quit now, this can't be right
I can't take one more sleepless night
Without you, without you

I won't soar, I won't climb
If you're not here, I'm paralyzed
Without you, without you
I can't look, I'm so blind
I lost my heart, I lost my mind
Without you, without you

Oh oh oh!
You! You! You!
Without...
You! You! You!
Without...you

I am lost, I am vain,
I will never be the same
Without you, without you
Without...you

Cherry lips...

You really thought you'd seen the last of Cherry? Oh no, darling. They say that vengeance is best served cold. Oh yes, especially if it's topped off with a luscious Cherry... XOXO.


So this is what I looked like in 2009:


And this is what I look like now:


A friend of mine just posted pictures of her birthday celebration, and honestly I was shocked when I saw myself. I look in the mirror every day, scrutinizing, trying to see any noticeable changes. The truth is, even though the scale shows that I've lost 30 pounds, somedays I don't really see the difference. Somedays, I feel just as I did when I was at my heaviest.

But, when I saw this picture and compared it objectively to the one from 2009 (in which I have a similar pose), I realize that there is a very noticeable change. And truth be told, I wasn't even at my heaviest in the 2009 picture!!! I was actually at my heaviest in Fall of 2010, when I was emotionally unstable and had decided to take on Lord Ghirardelli as my lover. However, there are very few pictures of myself from that time (I hardly ever allowed pictures of me to be snapped back then!) In any case, this just gives me even more motivation. I'm definitely on the right track. No one said that this process was going to be easy or fast, but I'm certainly doing what needs to be done.

Also, everyone tells me that I actually look younger now! I don't know how that's even possible since I've always looked younger than my real age. But, I'm not going to complain about that. I don't know how long it's going to take me to reach my goal weight - 6 months, a year, 2 years. All I know is that I'm ready for the challenge, and that it will be done... it must be done. No matter what! I'm halfway there.

Baby I'm a fool

I've been in a very romantic mood today. I watched "500 Days of Summer," which featured Carla Bruni's "Quelqu'un m'a dit," which in turn led me to Louis Armstrong's "La vie en rose," and Genius on iTunes recommended this song to me! It was love at first sound. This is the type of song that plays in my mind whenever I'm in love. I'm such a textbook-romantic!!! The truth is, I don't even understand why! You would think that someone as intellectually-oriented as myself would be more logical and whatnot, but I become such a corny individual when I'm in love. Just listening to all this music, I was already writing out a fairy-tale romance in my mind, which would take place in a Parisian cafe close to the Eiffel Tower, naturally. Long story short, because I love to sing, I hunted down the instrumental track for the song and already recorded my own version. (It's what I do.) And that, along with a 2-mile walk, was my evening.

In other news, it's October!!! Which means that Halloween, my second favorite holiday, (with my favorite being Christmas) is just a few weeks away! I went grocery shopping yesterday and was thrilled to find that they had Pumpkin Pie Spice. One of the reasons why I love this time of the year is because the seasonal lattes become available at Starbucks, and the Pumpkin Pie Spie latte is my favorite one. Since we don't have Starbucks in Honduras, I can make my own version of it at home now that I found this delicacy. On top of having an exquisite taste, I adore how it smells! For the next two weeks, I'll be doing a carb-free diet, which I'm actually looking forward to (well, not really, but I am looking forward to the massive poundage I'll surely shed while on it.) Before you say anything about how eliminating carbs isn't the way to go, remember that I do have a nutritionist, and she was actually the one who suggested it. Since I'm not working out as much (because of my knee), I'll do the low-carb thing to shock my body and force it to lose weight. We'll see how it goes.

Anyways, check out my version of la chanson here:

Melody Gardot - Baby I'm a fool

How was I to know that this was always only just a little game to you?
All the time I felt you gave your heart, I thought that I would do the same for you,
Tell the truth I think I should have seen it coming from a mile away,
When the words you say are,
Baby I’m a fool who thinks it’s cool to fall in love

If I gave a thought to fascination I would know it wasn’t right to care,
Logic doesn’t seem to mind that I am fascinated by your love affair,
Still, my heart would benefit from a little tenderness from time to time, but never mind,

Cause baby I’m a fool who thinks it’s cool to fall in love...

Baby I should hold on just a moment and be sure it’s not for vanity,
Look me in the eye and tell me love is never based upon insanity,
Even when my heart is beating hurry up the moment’s fleeting,
Kiss me now, don’t ask me how...

Cause baby I’m a fool who thinks it’s cool to fall,
Baby I’m a fool who thinks it’s cool to fall,
And I would never tell if you became a fool and fell in love.

My life, my life...

So, as much as I loved traveling this month, I have to share some bad news. All of the walking I did in NYC seemed to really take a toll on my left knee. I don't really understand why, since before the trip I was already able to run 10-15 minutes nonstop, without having any knee pain. I don't know if it has something to do with the shoes that I was wearing, or what it was that did me in, but something really affected me. I didn't do a lot of walking in Miami (unless shopping counts), but the knee was hurting really badly then.

The very next day after returning to Honduras, I was already on the treadmill, trying to get back into the normal flow of things. However, I couldn't run for very long - and this time, my endurance wasn't the problem. So, I decided to take a break from running and only did the elliptical at the gym, but even that was giving me quite some trouble. I started taking this really strong painkiller/anti-inflammatory, and that seemed to help a bit. Don't know if that's just sugar-coating the problem, though. I've also been resting since Thursday. Tomorrow I am to return to the gym and see how I fare on the elliptical.

That said, a family friend, who happens to be a doctor, came to my house on Friday and had a look at my knee. The thing is, it's not only the pain, but I also have a protrusion on my left knee. I've had bad knees since I was 16, when I was diagnosed with having a meniscal tear. The doctor I visited back then told me that I could correct the problem with physical therapy, which I did. But the problem's creeped up on me again... This time it's much serious, though. I think that the meniscal tear has led to the creation of a meniscal cyst (an accumulation of synovial fluid.) In most cases, the synovial fluid can be drained, and the pain will subside.

In my case however, since I have a history of bad knees, I think I'll probably need surgery, most specifically, arthroscopy. It's listed as a minimally invasive surgery and is very common amongst athletes, mostly soccer players. I did play soccer when I was in high school, but damn, this is not what I wanted to have in common with Ronaldo!!! (Not that I really want to have anything in common with him, but you know what I mean...)

In any case, it's really frustrating because I know that my weight loss will slow down, if not stall completely. As you all know, I have a really slow metabolism, and a huge reason why I was having so much success was because I was working out so much. And now... @#%! I still need to get another MRI done on my knee, and go to the specialist to confirm my diagnosis, but let's face it, having a protrusion on your knee isn't normal! Some people tell me that I should stick to swimming and low-impact exercises, but I need the adrenaline rush that comes with high-impact workouts: running, kickboxing, etc. UGH!!!

As every hurdle that's come up in my life, though, I will overcome this. I have a goal, and though my progress might stall or slow down for a bit, nothing will stop me. NOTHING!!! I've proven to others, but most importantly to myself, that the things that I truly want, I get. TRUE STORY.

Take 5

"And that is why it is so important to be solitary and attentive when one is sad: because the seemingly uneventful and motionless moment when our future steps into us is so much closer to life than that other loud and accidental point of time when it happens to us as if from outside. The quieter we are, the more patient and open we are in our sadnesses, the more deeply and serenely the new presence can enter us, and the more we can make it our own, the more it becomes our fate."
― Rainer Maria Rilke

I could watch you for a lifetime, you're my favorite movie.

Every city has its unique vibe. Despite all of its drawbacks, my hometown of San Pedro Sula is very relaxed. I've found that if you know the right people, and have enough money, you can pretty much get away with anything. Miami, one of the world's fashion meccas as well as home to the famous South Beach bikini bodies, can be pretty hectic. However, if you live in the suburbs, as I did when I was studying there, it's not that different from other cities. There's always something to do in Miami, but I find that the major obstacle to taking advantage of the city is: 1)lack of culture of most people; 2) lack of public transportation, coupled with 3) the layout of the city (it's a huge sprawl.)

And there's New York City. WOW. I really was blown away. New York's vibe is totally different. I have to be honest, my first impression of NYC was, "Is this it?" After having been to Tokyo, I expected New York's skyline to be at least as big, if not bigger, than Tokyo's. My first thought was that NYC was really overrated. However, that quickly changed. We were picked up at Newark International by my aunt, who immediately dropped us off at Weehawken so we could take the water taxi into Manhattan.

At this point, I started to get excited. It started dawning on me that after years and years of dreaming of NYC, I was finally there. Those who know me well, know that I'm not an overly expressive person - even when I'm extremely happy, I'm very capable of keeping my cool. There really have been only a few times in my life that I've gotten all giddy - and I must confess that stepping onto that boat was one of them. lol. So, we took the water taxi into Manhattan, and then a bus to 42nd street, which some of you may also know as Times Square. At first, it was all a bit overwhelming. There were just so many people! We went into a few stores around Times Square, and then walked on Fifth Avenue until we reached the Plaza. So, there I was, in New York City, with the Plaza Hotel in front of me, Central Park to my right, Tiffany's and Bergdorf & Goodman to my left, FAO Schwartz behind me. Simply amazing! The best part of it was, all throughout my stay in New York, I felt right at home.

I could sit here and write a detailed day-by-day log of everything I did while in New York: where I went, the shopping I did, what I ate, etc. I actually might do it later on (depending on how bored I am, lol.) For now, I'll just leave you with some highlights of the trip.

Central Park, as seen from the Rockefeller Observation Deck


Fifth Avenue, Upper East Side


Laduree, home of the famous Parisian macaroons, had just opened its first store on American soil. And where did it open? In New York's Upper East Side, naturally (864 Madison Avenue - I even memorized the address, lol.) There was a line to buy macaroons - that's how delicious they were. This little box of 12 macaroons cost me about $40. Had I known they were gonna be so delicious, I would've bought $100 worth. Seriously. Anyways, for those who watch Gossip Girl, these are Blair Waldorf's favorite macaroons. Now they're Krizia Bandy's favorite too. Hehe.


This is the Rockefeller Center, taken from the MSNBC lounge. Before going to the Top of the Rock, we decided to take the NBC studio tour. I'm not gonna lie - it was pretty sweet. Our guide asked us what our favorite NBC shows were, and I immediately blurted out, "30 Rock! Woo." LOL. I love Tina Fey! Anyways, we got to check out the Saturday Night Live Studios! Note to self: if I ever go to a live taping of any NBC show, remember to bring a sweater - the studios are so freaking cold!


I spent so much time in Times Square that I felt like a New York native. Seriously. Pretty much everything revolves around Times Square: Penn Station, Grand Central Station, etc.


New York's iconic landmark, the Empire State Building, as seen from the Rockefeller Center. Enough said.


Airfare to NYC: $300, Food expenses: $400, Shopping expenses: $1000+, getting to see the Manhattan skyline at nighttime: PRICELESS.


And now, some pictures of fun in Miami.

Getting my drink on at The Beacon Hotel on Ocean Drive. By the way, I've lost my alcohol tolerance with the weight that I've lost. Tsk, tsk.


No trip to Miami is complete without a visit to SoBe.


With my sister from another mister, Paolita.


First day back, and I'm already working on my fitness! Woo for new (and smaller!) workout clothes! Hehe.

Hello from the Big Apple!

New York is everything I expected it to be... and so much more. There is just so much life here. It would be impossible for me to believe that anyone who lives here would ever be bored. So far, I've seen: Times Square, Fifth Avenue, the Plaza, Rockefeller Center, Wall Street, the Empire State Building, the Statue of Liberty, Little Italy, NYU, and Chinatown. Tomorrow, I'll be going to the museums, Central Park, and hopefully a Broadway play - I'll try to get tickets for "How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying," with Daniel Radcliffe (aka, Harry Potter.)

But yea, New York is awesome. My brother keeps on complaining that there are way too many people. I, on the other hand, kind of like it (although I don't think I could ever drive here, lol.) I guess I need to be around people all the time - even if I'm not really interacting with them. I can totally see myself sitting at Rockefeller Center, reading a book, or just watching people pass by. There's always something going on here. Now I know why they call this the city that never sleeps.

Oh, and I saw parts of NYU. I even bought myself a sweatshirt at the NYU bookstore. Hey, at least I got accepted right? That should give me the right to get a sweatshirt. The more time I spend here, the more I realize that New York is where I need to be. Someday people. Someday.