Incantevole

I've been in Italy for almost 2 months and this is my first post... How disappointing, eh? It's not that I don't have anything to say, it's simply that 1) I'm always busy; 2) I feel that anything that I'd write about Italy and its lovely people would never do them any justice.

I was lucky that I had friends here prior to my arrival, so I knew that I wouldn't be completely on my own. That said, never in a million years would I ever have imagined that they would be as hospitable and generous as they've actually been. Grazie. I'm sure that once I'm back on my side of the world, I'll write in-depth descriptions of the lovely characters that I met here, but for now I'll just them simmer in your imagination. 

I actually don't even have much time now. I have to get my day started: take a shower, get dressed, meet my friends for lunch, go to MediaWorld (the Italian equivalent of Best Buy) to purchase a new battery for my BlackBerry, meet up with another friend for gelato, and possibly go out tonight before heading to Venice tomorrow at 8am! 

That said, I just wanted to write a brief post about my favorite Italian word so far: "incantevole," meaning charming/enchanting. Italy and its beautiful people are very "incantevole." Also, Incantevole is the name of a song that I've been listening to nonstop for the past week (which, given my highly musical nature, I will share with all of you.) 

In any case, I hope you're all doing well. I'm almost certain that I won't find the time to write in the next month or so (I have to plan my trips to Florence, Rome, Genoa, etc) so bear with me. Much to my dismay, I'll be back in my corner of the world soon...  

Se leggera ti farai 

io sarò vento 

per darti il mio sostegno 

senza fingere 

se distanza ti farai 

io sarò asfalto 

impronta sui tuoi passi 

senza stringere mai. 

Se battaglia ti farai 

io starò al fianco 

per darti il mio sorriso 

senza fingere 

se dolore ti farai 

io starò attento 

a ricucire i tagli 

senza stringere mai. 

Fuori è un giorno fragile

Ma tutto qui cade incantevole come quando resti con me

Fuori è un mondo fragile

Ma tutto qui cade incantevole come quando resti con me

Se innocenza ti farai 

io sarò fango 

che tenta la tua pelle 

senza bruciare. 

Se destino ti farai 

io sarò pronto 

per tutto ciò che è stato 

a non rimpiangere mai. 

Fuori è un giorno fragile

Ma tutto qui cade incantevole come quando resti con me

Fuori è un mondo fragile

Ma tutto qui cade incantevole come quando resti con me

Fuori è un giorno… fragile 

Fuori è un mondo… fragile.

Fuori è un giorno… fragile 

Fuori è un mondo… fragile. 

Fuori è un giorno fragile

Ma tutto qui cade incantevole come quando resti con me

Fuori è un mondo fragile

Ma tutto qui cade incantevole come quando resti con me

Fuori è un giorno fragile

Ma tutto qui cade incatevole come quando resti con me

Fuori è un giorno …fragile 

Fuori è un mondo… fragile 

Fuori è un giorno …fragile 

Fuori è un mondo… fragile...

Italian stereotypes

Before I even begin, let me just say that these are by no means an expression of my own thoughts or sentiments. I just felt that given the circumstances, it would be amusing to write a post of some of the typical Italian stereotypes that I'm sure we're all used to hearing. So, let this be an official disclaimer that this is meant to be a funny post, not to be taken seriously, and certainly not aimed at offending anyone. That said, let me proceed:


1. Italians take their food very seriously.

 I’m not even in Italy yet, but I’m willing to bet that this stereotype is very true. I’m pretty sure that not every Italian meal will consist of spaghetti and meatballs as we’ve been led to believe in movies and TV shows, but let’s face it, Italians do have some of the best food on Earth. Wouldn’t you take it seriously if you were them?

2. Italian men are the world’s biggest players.

C’mon, I know I’m not alone in this! We’ve all heard the stories of how Italian men are the greatest womanizers in the whole wide world. Is it true? Who knows? Maybe I should give myself the challenge of finding out just how passionate Italians really are, you know, for the sake of diplomacy and International Relations (hehe.) Either way, I’m sure that Italy has its fair share of ‘Casanovas,’ but then again every country does too, no? I just find it hilarious that every single person that finds out about my upcoming trip to Italy feels that it is his/her moral imperative to warn me about Italian men. Even my older brother told me, “My poor sister, you are heading into the lion’s den.” I feel that this is one of those: “Proceed with caution” type of situations, lol.

3. All Italians have connections to the mafia. 

This one is probably just as absurd as saying that all Arabs are terrorists. So, I have no intention of getting too deep into it. That said, it is a very prevalent stereotype and I felt that it should be mentioned.

4. Italians are very fashionable.

Considering that I spent a substantial amount of time living in the United States where I constantly saw women heading to the supermarket in their pajamas (the horror!), I’m certain that Italians will be much more fashionable than your average Jane or Joe. Also, let’s keep in mind that I am heading to Milan, one of the world’s fashion meccas. So yes, I’m actually prepared to see some Italian fashionistas. That said, am I expecting everyone to be runway ready? No, of course not.

5. Italians are loud. 

Do Italians go around screaming “Mamma mia” and “Vaffanculo” all the time just as they’re portrayed in the movies? Probably not. However, that doesn’t mean that they can’t be loud. I’ve yet to see just how loud and expressive Italians can get, but again, I lived in Miami for a good portion of my life and am used to hearing Cubans scream “Oye” and “Coño chico!” every two seconds. So, I’m sure that I can handle it.

Thought Questions

My perfect date would start off with coffee and a walk in the park, followed by dinner at an exotic restaurant, and would end with drinks at a nice bar. Yea, this seems like a LONG date, but when you like the person you're on the date with, and when you have chemistry, no amount of time together is ever enough. In my humble opinion, the essential elements to any great date are: engaging conversation, fun and laughter, and obviously a bit of romance. I added the dinner at an exotic restaurant, because I think it's important to experience new things together and to see how accepting a person is of things that aren't common. 

Easy. The stars. I don't know why I don't spent enough time stargazing. 

This is not something that I say to many people, but I think I suffer from chronic dissatisfaction. It seems like no matter what may be happening in my life, I will never be satisfied. Although this may be good in the sense that it doesn't encourage mediocrity, I truly wish that my future self master the art of just living in the present and appreciating the now. Hey, I am trying though. I swear. 

Hmmm, a little bit of both. I feel younger than my peers in the sense that I haven't experienced many of the things that most 25-year-olds have already experienced (especially when it comes to relationships.) At the same time, I've had to deal with hardships/obstacles in my life that most people NEVER have to experience (my grandfather being kidnapped, etc.), which have forced me to mature at a quicker rate. 

1. Cockiness - a little bit of arrogance is okay, but a guy who thinks he's the best thing to walk on this Earth isn't.

2. Closed-mindedness.

3. Selfishness.

4. Indecision/lack of passion. 

1. Rude people. 

2. Parents who let their kids run free like wild animals in public places. Sure, kids should be allowed to be free and have fun, but not at the expense of others's peace. 

3. People who curse too much, or use too much vulgar language - it's just not classy.

4. When people make me wait for too long. 

5. People who don't think before they speak, or people who don't let me speak my mind (being told to shut up.) 

Maybe I'm basing my answer on the picture, but at this point, I feel that I need more affection.

"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be." 

And related to this, when a man really loves a woman, he'll do anything to be with her. Period. 

Indispensable. 

The top source of heartache in my life: unfulfilled expectations. I really need to learn how to stop expecting so much from others. But alas, I know it's a life-long journey.  

Most people assume that I wear glasses. I don't. 

Also, because I'm reserved and calm, people tend to think that I'm very traditional and closed-minded. I'm not. 

On fear and insecurities...

I was recently informed of something about someone that although not directly related to me, changes a part of my past that up until now had been somewhat of a sensitive issue. I’m not going to go into details about what exactly I was informed of (although let’s face it, I probably already told most of you), but I will let you know how it affected me.

We all have deep-rooted insecurities and every now and again, we meet people who reinforce these insecurities, whether they consciously want to or not. Now, most of you know that I have been on a mission to tackle my biggest insecurities head on. I have chosen to actively fight the things about myself that I dislike, and to put it simply, I’ve decided to embark on a journey to become the best version of myself that I can be. I believe that our experiences in the past shape who we become, and it is for this reason that I’m constantly revisiting my past, hoping to learn valuable lessons about myself and how I relate to others. Now, the individual that I’m talking about had made comments about me that seriously made me question my self-worth. However, what I learned about this person made me realize that the comments that he’d made are simply invalid.

You might be thinking, “But Krizia, what people say about you should be of no consequence to you and you shouldn’t let anyone’s words hurt you,” and yes, you would be right. However, let’s face it – when someone that you deeply care about says something hurtful about you, it just hurts – period. In any case, what I found out about this person was that his comments about me truly had no significance. His words came from a place of fear, which leads me to the next thing I want to talk about in this post: fear.

Why is it that we as human beings constantly let fear dominate our lives? At the end of the day, I truly feel that the eradication of fear from our lives should be one of our top priorities. The individual that I’m talking about feared (maybe still fears?) the consequences that revealing his true self would have on his life, and although it’s understandable, his own fears and insecurities had a spillover effect on other people, in this case, me. If he had he chosen to stop fearing his true self and be honest about who he was, he could have spared himself (and me) a lot of pain. So let me ask all of you this: what is it that you truly fear, and most importantly, what can you do to stop letting the fear control your life?

I don’t want to give you the impression that I’m a fearless person. On the contrary, there are many things that I fear. However, lately I’ve been trying to consciously stop myself from allowing fear to be a dominant player in my life, or source of hesitation. I’m honestly trying to be more aware of my fears and figuring out ways to combat them. I’ve found that as a result, I’m just a more honest individual – honest not only with myself, but also with others. And at the end of the day, this will truly have amazing effects on the quality of relationships that you build with others.

Let me end this post by including something that I found on Tiny Buddha (http://tinybuddha.com):

“You can put Fear in a box. And let me tell you, once you do this, your life will turn around 180 degrees.

You will do things you never thought possible.

You will be bold and enthusiastic about life.

You will find passion in life and seize every opportunity.

If you want to start disempowering Fear right now, here are three things you can do today:

1. Isolate one fear at a time.

Start with one that really interferes with your growth. For me it was fear of abandonment. That was my biggie. What’s yours? You might fail? You might not be loved? You might disappoint someone?

2. Ask yourself why you have this fear.

This is a question you should ask until you run out of answers. Write down every reason you can think of, starting with the main one that probably occurred when you were small. Write these reasons down so you don’t forget them.

3. Finally, start undermining these reasons with evidence to the contrary.

You might feel a certain way about yourself, but that doesn’t make it true. And even if there were truth in the original belief and feelings, you have lived a lot of life since then.

There are hundreds of reasons why you are smart, lovable, attractive, etc. Write those down too.

Remember, you don’t have to believe the stories Fear tells you. Write them down, and then shine the light of Truth and Inquiry on them. Find evidence to the contrary, and attach your faith on this evidence rather than Fear’s stories.

With practice, you will escape the box and firmly place Fear within it.”

I'm about to head off not only to a new country, but to a completely different continent, and part of me is a little bit fearful. But I've finally convinced myself that there is nothing to be afraid of. This irrational fear that I've been experiencing is simply a result of being afraid of the unknown, and how ridiculous is that? I'm one of the most curious and open-minded people that I know. Why should I let fear of the unknown taint what is surely to be one of the most amazing experiences I'll ever have? Fear, be gone! I shun you!!!

Well my friends, with that I conclude this post.

The Magic of Books

As much as I love technology and gadgets, I still can't get used to reading books on the computer or on Kindle-like devices. In my honest opinion, there is nothing quite like the smell and feel of a new book - every page is crisp and easy to turn, and with every flip, you feel like you're discovering a whole new world right in the palm of your hands. In any case, I found these photographs taken by Joel Robinson (check out his Flickr at: http://www.flickr.com/photos/joel_r/) and I decided that they were interesting enough to share. Enjoy!

Haven't met you yet

I got inspired by Michael Buble's song and decided to write up a list with 10 things I promise my future boyfriend/ husband/ partner. I don't know why if I'm feeling particularly lovey-dovey tonight, but I just am. I guess that one of the hardest things about being single is feeling that no one wants to give you a chance, even if you feel that you've got so much love to give. But hey, looking on the bright side, I guess it means that whoever does end up choosing me will be in a for treat, eh? I really don't know why we're all obsessed with love, but if you think about it logically, it really is such a pure emotion. Anyways, without further ado, here it is:

1. I promise that I’ll do my best to make this relationship work. I know that we’ll have some difficulties along the way (everyone does), but I promise that I’ll never give up on us. Even when you try to push me away, I’ll put my pride aside and fight for you. 

2. I promise that I’ll always be honest with you. Even if that means telling you that I think your sense of fashion is a bit questionable at times. And I promise that I’ll always be faithful and that I’ll come to you when I have a problem. We need constant communication and I’ll do my best at keeping you informed of what’s going on with me, even if at times all I want is to withdraw and isolate myself from the rest of the world.  

3. I promise that I’ll try my best to look good. I’m not perfect, and I’ll never be a Victoria’s Secret model, but apparently you like me, so I’ll do my best to keep it up. But most importantly, I promise that I’ll always try to be healthy and that I’ll make it easy for us to lead a healthy lifestyle. We want longevity after all, don’t we? 

4. I promise I’ll always encourage you to pursue your dreams and I’ll never let you give up on them. Even when you don’t believe in yourself, I’ll be your biggest fan, because at the end of the day, even if you can’t understand it, your happiness is my happiness. 

5. I promise that I’ll be adventurous. If I’ve chosen you, then it probably means that you have as much as an insatiable appetite for life as I do. So, let’s travel the world, let’s try exotic cuisines – let’s do everything together. Also, I promise that I’ll try my best to keep it interesting, even if at times I’m sure you’ll think I’m crazy. Hey, we only live once, right? Let’s make the best of it.

6. I promise that I'll want to grow old with you, and that even when we're old and wrinkly, I’ll still want to kiss you and think you're the sexiest man alive. I’ll always be your best friend and as such, I promise that we’ll never run out of things to talk about. 

7. I promise that you’ll be the first person that I want to see when I wake up in the morning, and the last person that I kiss before I go to bed at night. I promise that your voice will be my favorite sound (yes, I’ll even forgive you if you can’t sing like Michael Buble… hehe.) 

8. I promise that I’ll try my best to like your family. Even if I’m not their biggest fan, I’ll always be nice and on my best behavior with them. They are your family after all and they’ve been around for far longer than I have. I will never be the kind of person to take you away from some of the most important people in your life. 

9. I promise that when you’re feeling down, I’ll do my best to cheer you up. Even if you want me to tell you a joke, which I’m not very good at by the way, I’ll at least try. And when you’re feeling sick, I promise that I’ll be by your side, nurturing you back to health.  

10. Most importantly, I promise that I’ll give you all of my love. I’ll give you everything I have and more. I’ll always make you feel like you’re the only guy in the world for me. At the end of the day, you must know that a life without you is simply unimaginable. 

   

Some rules I try to live by...

I forgot where I found this, but I really liked it so I decided to share. I need to start applying some of these more seriously, though...


1. Don't panic. Don't take anything, not even these words (and especially not yourself), too seriously.
2. Never stop thinking.. If someone ever says to you ‘you need to stop thinking so much' just ignore them and keep thinking deeper... Your mind is the most important tool you have, if you stop using it, it will atrophy. FACT.
3. Daydream as much as possible, even if it's only for a few seconds at a time. Stare into space blankly and don’t ever punish yourself for doing it. There's no such thing as wasting time.
4. Don’t be afraid to talk about anything. Ask questions, and demand answers.
5. Everyone is original. Every life experience is case sensitive and unique. Every thing you do makes you more YOU than anyone else has ever been.
6. Stop rushing. Take your time and enjoy every moment.
7. Don't let anyone tell you what to believe. Discover 'religion' for yourself... It should never be taught, only found.
8. Talking to yourself is healthy. Who else do you have more in common with?
9. We will always be in a transitional phase. Look around you and know that everything will be replaced at some point.. This existence is only temporary.
10. If someone else has already said it better, don't be afraid to quote them.
11. There is no such thing as time. There is only your life- earlier today you were born and death is predicted later in the evening.
12. Every now and then take something that you see everyday and try to see it in a different light. Renew its existence.
13. Be happy... but don’t force it. That defeats the purpose. Discover what is making you unhappy, and change it.
14. You will always succeed in trying.
15. We are all crazy. every person you read about in the history books, already know, or will maybe meet on the street, has or had some kind of ‘disorder’...you just have to learn how to use yours.
16. we are all about as similar as we are different.
17. Ideas are just as valuable as people. Why do you think we keep making people? We hope new people will have new ideas to share- so don't let everyone down by keeping yours to yourself.
18. Words will always be just words. Only the feelings are real
19. Ask a child for advice, and never speak down to them. They may not know much, but they know what is important.
20. Prove you’re alive. Remind the world you are still here.