I was recently informed of something about someone that although not directly related to me, changes a part of my past that up until now had been somewhat of a sensitive issue. I’m not going to go into details about what exactly I was informed of (although let’s face it, I probably already told most of you), but I will let you know how it affected me.
We all have deep-rooted insecurities and every now and again, we meet people who reinforce these insecurities, whether they consciously want to or not. Now, most of you know that I have been on a mission to tackle my biggest insecurities head on. I have chosen to actively fight the things about myself that I dislike, and to put it simply, I’ve decided to embark on a journey to become the best version of myself that I can be. I believe that our experiences in the past shape who we become, and it is for this reason that I’m constantly revisiting my past, hoping to learn valuable lessons about myself and how I relate to others. Now, the individual that I’m talking about had made comments about me that seriously made me question my self-worth. However, what I learned about this person made me realize that the comments that he’d made are simply invalid.
You might be thinking, “But Krizia, what people say about you should be of no consequence to you and you shouldn’t let anyone’s words hurt you,” and yes, you would be right. However, let’s face it – when someone that you deeply care about says something hurtful about you, it just hurts – period. In any case, what I found out about this person was that his comments about me truly had no significance. His words came from a place of fear, which leads me to the next thing I want to talk about in this post: fear.
Why is it that we as human beings constantly let fear dominate our lives? At the end of the day, I truly feel that the eradication of fear from our lives should be one of our top priorities. The individual that I’m talking about feared (maybe still fears?) the consequences that revealing his true self would have on his life, and although it’s understandable, his own fears and insecurities had a spillover effect on other people, in this case, me. If he had he chosen to stop fearing his true self and be honest about who he was, he could have spared himself (and me) a lot of pain. So let me ask all of you this: what is it that you truly fear, and most importantly, what can you do to stop letting the fear control your life?
I don’t want to give you the impression that I’m a fearless person. On the contrary, there are many things that I fear. However, lately I’ve been trying to consciously stop myself from allowing fear to be a dominant player in my life, or source of hesitation. I’m honestly trying to be more aware of my fears and figuring out ways to combat them. I’ve found that as a result, I’m just a more honest individual – honest not only with myself, but also with others. And at the end of the day, this will truly have amazing effects on the quality of relationships that you build with others.
Let me end this post by including something that I found on Tiny Buddha (
http://tinybuddha.com):
“You can put Fear in a box. And let me tell you, once you do this, your life will turn around 180 degrees.
You will do things you never thought possible.
You will be bold and enthusiastic about life.
You will find passion in life and seize every opportunity.
If you want to start disempowering Fear right now, here are three things you can do today:
1. Isolate one fear at a time.
Start with one that really interferes with your growth. For me it was fear of abandonment. That was my biggie. What’s yours? You might fail? You might not be loved? You might disappoint someone?
2. Ask yourself why you have this fear.
This is a question you should ask until you run out of answers. Write down every reason you can think of, starting with the main one that probably occurred when you were small. Write these reasons down so you don’t forget them.
3. Finally, start undermining these reasons with evidence to the contrary.
You might feel a certain way about yourself, but that doesn’t make it true. And even if there were truth in the original belief and feelings, you have lived a lot of life since then.
There are hundreds of reasons why you are smart, lovable, attractive, etc. Write those down too.
Remember, you don’t have to believe the stories Fear tells you. Write them down, and then shine the light of Truth and Inquiry on them. Find evidence to the contrary, and attach your faith on this evidence rather than Fear’s stories.
With practice, you will escape the box and firmly place Fear within it.”
I'm about to head off not only to a new country, but to a completely different continent, and part of me is a little bit fearful. But I've finally convinced myself that there is nothing to be afraid of. This irrational fear that I've been experiencing is simply a result of being afraid of the unknown, and how ridiculous is that? I'm one of the most curious and open-minded people that I know. Why should I let fear of the unknown taint what is surely to be one of the most amazing experiences I'll ever have?
Fear, be gone! I shun you!!!
Well my friends, with that I conclude this post.
