50 Random Things about me

1. When I was younger, I wanted to be... an astronaut.
2. My first pet was... a dog.
3. I once dated... an asshole.
4. Last night, I... heard one of the most random phrases ever, "maybe it's black cosmic lion." (Still trying to figure that one out!) 
5. For my next birthday, I would like to... visit yet another country, hopefully with someone I love.
6. I would hate it if... I had to live in Honduras for the rest of my life. 
7. It makes me sick when... people treat others unfairly.
8. I can't help but laugh out loud when... someone falls or trips. I know it's horrible, but I can't help it!
9. I love the book ... Eat, Pray, Love - I know it isn't exactly the best piece of literature, but I can relate so much to it. 
10. My best friend told me... that he has no doubts that I will succeed in whatever I choose to do. (I wish I had as much faith in myself as he does.)
11. The furthest I've ever travelled to... is Japan.
12. I think President Obama... will only be remembered for being the first African American President, and not for his actual work as President. 
13. My car... is a 2005 Toyota Rav4
14. I've always wanted to have a pet... dolphin
15. My favorite Dippin' Dots flavor is... chocolate mint.
16. I have a scar from... when I burnt myself making flan about 12 years ago.
17. My birthmark is... a brown spot on my right knee.
18. My name means... nothing in particular. It is thought to be Italian in origin (how appropriate) and often taken as a nickname or diminutive of the name Lucrezia, which comes from the Latin lucror and means “profit,” “wealth,” or “success." 
19. My father worked at... his own company (and still does.)
20. My heroes are... I don't really have any heroes. Just people I admire, such as Queen Rania of Jordan. 
21. I cannot go a day without watching... the news. Gotta keep informed! 
22. I crave... chocolate (all the time.)
23. When I go to Taco Bell, I always order... nothing. Because I don't like Taco Bell.
24. I hate when people... take too long to respond to messages. 
25. My favorite Christmas present ever is... a PS2, so far (at the time I really wanted to play Final Fantasy X!) 
26. I once fell ... on a bridge in Venice, but was able to gain my composure quickly. Lol.
27. I want to get married... to someone who will be completely devoted to me and vice versa. 
28. People say I look like... Kelly Clarkson
29. My celebrity crush is... Matt Bomer.
30. I cannot bend... something, I'm sure. But, I'm actually quite flexible. 
31. My toothbrush... does its job. 
32. I want to work for... the United Nations, or some international organization like that that seeks to bring people together, as well as foster cultural awareness. 
33. I'd like to drink... wine everyday. It's good for the heart!
34. My favorite thing about summer is... that people seem to be more relaxed than usual. 
35. I think that Paris Hilton is... an idiot.
36. The room I'm in... is all MINE!
37. In high school, I... was Valedictorian. 
38. My mom tells me that when I was born I... I ended a long-standing fight between my dad and my grandmother and that I was a peace treaty, of sorts. 
39. My future spouse has to... love traveling as much as I do, be as open-minded as I am, and be patient enough to deal with me. lol 
40. I've lost... many things. But I try not to dwell on them. Gotta keep moving forward. 
41. The last time I went to see a movie... was in Italy and it was "Dark Shadows."
42. I only like to dance when... I like the music. 
43. The last picture with me in it... was taken about a week ago by my friend Vanessa.
44. I put on my shoes... with pleasure. I love shoes!
45. The perfume I prefer is... Alien, by Thierry Mugler (at least now)
46. I've never ridden... a horse
47. The last thing I read on a cereal box was ... Peanut Butter Cheerios!
48. The only kind of milk I like is... cow's milk. I'll drink soy/almond/coconut/ and all those other alternative, but I definitely prefer cow's milk. 
49. Bad drivers make me... anxious.
50. I am only nice to... people at the beginning. I continue being nice if they treat me with respect. However, if they don't, I quickly eliminate them from my life. Life is too short to waste it on people who don't respect you. 

A Romantic, a Questioner, and a Thinker...

To help in my never-ending quest for perfection (or at least self-improvement) I recently started reading the book "How to Be a Hepburn in a Hilton World: The Art of Living with Style, Class, and Grace," by Jordan Christy, and in one of the chapters she emphasizes the importance of self-awareness.

To help with this, the author suggested that we take the "9 types personality test" or the Enneagram (from the Greek words ennea [nine] and grammos [something written or drawn]). According to Wikipedia, the typology defines nine personality types (sometimes referred to as "enneatypes"), which are represented by the points of a geometric figure called an enneagram, which also indicates some of the connections between the types.

It turns out that (because nothing with me is ever simple) my personality is a combination of Types 4 and 6, The Romantic and The Questioner, respectively. Coming in at a very close second was Type 5: The Thinker. 

Description for the Romantic (4): Romantics have sensitive feelings and are warm and perceptive.

How to Get Along with Me:

• Give me plenty of compliments. They mean a lot to me. (Unfortunately yes, even if it seems needy, I need to hear that people care about me.)
• Be a supportive friend or partner. Help me to learn to love and value myself.
• Respect me for my special gifts of intuition and vision.
• Though I don't always want to be cheered up when I'm feeling melancholy, I sometimes like to have someone lighten me up a little.
• Don't tell me I'm too sensitive or that I'm overreacting! (I have been called dramatic many times in the past!)

What I Like About Being a Four:

• my ability to find meaning in life and to experience feeling at a deep level
• my ability to establish warm connections with people
• admiring what is noble, truthful, and beautiful in life
• my creativity, intuition, and sense of humor
• being unique and being seen as unique by others
• having aesthetic sensibilities
• being able to easily pick up the feelings of people around me

What's Hard About Being a Four:

• experiencing dark moods of emptiness and despair (Again, unfortunately very true.)
• feelings of self-hatred and shame; believing I don't deserve to be loved (Which is why I need constant love!) 
• feeling guilty when I disappoint people
• feeling hurt or attacked when someone misunderstands me
• expecting too much from myself and life (I'm my biggest critic)
• fearing being abandoned (Geez, this makes me seem SUPER needy.)
• obsessing over resentments
• longing for what I don't have

* * * * * * * * * *

Description for the Questioner (6): Questioners are responsible, trustworthy, and value loyalty to family, friends, groups, and causes. Their personalities range broadly from reserved and timid to outspoken and confrontative.

How to Get Along with Me:

• Be direct and clear. (Nothing that I hate more than ambiguous situations and hypocritical people. I can sense insincerity, trust me!) 
• Listen to me carefully. (I'm a good listener - the least you can do is listen to my issues, too!)
• Don't judge me for my anxiety.
• Work things through with me.
• Reassure me that everything is OK between us.
• Laugh and make jokes with me.
• Gently push me toward new experiences. (I often do need a little push to do things.) 
• Try not to overreact to my overreacting.

What I Like About Being a Six:

• being committed and faithful to family and friends (Treat me right, and I'll be loyal to you for life!) 
• being responsible and hardworking
• being compassionate toward others
• having intellect and wit (Naturally, hehe.) 
• being a nonconformist
• confronting danger bravely
• being direct and assertive

What's Hard About Being a Six:

• the constant push and pull involved in trying to make up my mind (Yes, I do tend to be a bit indecisive.) 
• procrastinating because of fear of failure; having little confidence in myself
• fearing being abandoned or taken advantage of
• exhausting myself by worrying and scanning for danger
• wishing I had a rule book at work so I could do everything right
• being too critical of myself when I haven't lived up to my expectations

* * * * * * * * * *

And just because I also recognize a lot of myself in Type 5...

Description for the Thinker (5): Observers have a need for knowledge and are introverted, curious, analytical, and insightful.

How to Get Along with Me:

• Speak in a straightforward and brief manner.
• I need time alone to process my feelings and thoughts. (Specially this!)
• Remember that If I seem aloof, distant, or arrogant, it may be that I am feeling uncomfortable.
• Make me feel welcome, but not too intensely, or I might doubt your sincerity.
• If I become irritated when I have to repeat things, it may be because it was such an effort to get my thoughts out in the first place.
• Don't come on like a bulldozer.
• Help me to avoid my pet peeves: big parties, other people's loud music, overdone emotions, and intrusions on my privacy.

What I Like About Being a Five:

• standing back and viewing life objectively
• coming to a thorough understanding; perceiving causes and effects
• my sense of integrity: doing what I think is right and not being influenced by social pressure
• not being caught up in material possessions and status
• being calm in a crisis

What's Hard About Being a Five:

• being slow to put my knowledge and insights out in the world
• feeling bad when I act defensive or like a know-it-all
• being pressured to be with people when I don't want to be
• watching others with better social skills, but less intelligence or technical skill, do better professionally

So, I definitely suggest that if you have a couple of minutes to spare (10 at most), you go ahead and take the test for yourselves. (You can find it here: 9 types test)

I have to admit that I'm actually surprised at how accurate some of these are. These last few days (weeks and months even) I've been giving myself a hard time for certain of these personality traits that I'm not particularly fond of. I used to describe myself as being this strong, determined, and power-hungry girl, but lately I've been finding that I'm a lot more sensitive than I ever thought I was. Reading all of this helps me make sense of it, and helps me see that maybe I've just been hiding my true self under the pretense of wanting to be perfect, strong, and calm at all times. But maybe it's better to embrace my sensibility. Maybe it's better to accept that I am the kind of girl who cries and needs attention every once in a while. I guess that it's a bit hard for us ambitious women to reveal certain of our vulnerabilities. But who knows? Maybe I can derive some strength from it all... And with that, I sign off.

"A person isn't who they are during the last conversation you had with them - they're who they've been throughout your whole relationship." 

- Rainer Maria Rilke

31/07/2012

The moment I knew it was futile to fight against my feelings was when he said, "I want to know everything about you. Your dreams, your fantasies, your fears, all your random thoughts. Absolutely everything that goes on in that pretty little head of yours." And bam! That was it. I was completely gone. Too bad it ended up being just empty words. Although spoken under what pretext, I still don't know (nor do I care at this point.) Either way, my mercurial brain will always hold the keys to my heart. 

30/07/2012

And with every dream, with every waking thought, I keep burying myself in a mountain of false hope, of unfounded expectations... 

And the truth is that I don't care... we all have different ways of coping with our realities; we all have things that make us want to live, things that keep us alive...

18 Day Music Lyrics Challenge - Day 2

Day 2 - Describe your best friend

I guess that I'm specially lucky because I have several best friends, all spread out in the world. I feel that I can trust each one of them blindly, so that's why I chose lyrics from "Never let me go."

"And it's breaking over me

A thousand miles down to the sea bed

Found the place to rest my head

Never let me go"

18 Day Music Lyrics Challenge - Day 1

Day 1 - Describe how you feel today.

From "You've got the love," by Florence + the Machine...

Time after time I think "Oh Lord what's the use?"

Time after time I think it's just no good

Sooner or later in life, the things you love you lose

New Challenge!

I'm bored, so I decided that it's time for another challenge! This one is called the "18 Day Music Lyrics Challenge." For those who are curious, or want to join along, the rules are simple, you can only answer the following questions with lyrics from one band. I pick: Florence and the Machine. 

1. Describe how you feel today.
2. Describe your best friend.
3. How many times have you been rejected?
4. Tell us the “story of your life”.
5. How do you act when you are around somebody you like?
6. What did you do today?
7. What has been the craziest thing you have ever done?
8. Describe your favorite concert.
9. Describe how you react when you hear your favorite song on the radio.
10. How many siblings do you have.
11. Complete: I am addicted to _____________
12. Complete: My favorite singer makes me ______________
13. How many people have you kissed in your life?
14. How do you feel about drugs?
15. Complete: I constantly _______
16. Complete: I am _________
17. When people wake you up in the middle of the night you? (what do you do) ________
18. Describe your favorite movie.