I'm not a famous celebrity or anything of the sort, but I do try to make the lives of those that I come into contact with a bit more... colorful. Yes, let's use that word, colorful. At first sight, I may come off as conservative - I'm well aware of this. In fact, this is how I wish to portray myself. It's not that I'm really a snob (although I would call myself an elitist of sorts), but I tend to be very exclusive, in that I don't open up to most people. Unlike many, I have no desire to pursue fake relationships, or friendships of convenience. Whenever I let someone in, it's because they've "passed my tests," and I consider them to be worthy of my time. Yes, I know how this makes me sound: like a total stuck-up bitch! Well, hopefully, those who are reading this (or at least most of you) know me well enough already to know that as bitchy as I may come off to be, I'm just honest. I've built up good relationships with my close friends and family, and at this point, I feel comfortable to be myself with them and have no desire to lie about who I am.
Some of you may know that I have somewhat of a flair for the theatrical. Why? Well, it's not just because I love drama in general, but the truth is that I tend to lead a conservative and simple lifestyle. Therefore, I feel that I must get excitement from somewhere. Maybe this is the part of me that tends to attract equally (or more) dramatic people. (The study of why I attract some very odd individuals is still a work in progress.) Also, I know that I tend to exaggerate things, but it's only for my own entertainment and amusement. Despite the drama, I consider myself to be well grounded, at least enough to distinguish between fantasy and reality, and to get rid of precarious situations.
I was watching a Lady Gaga interview the other day (and yes, you all know that I adore her! If you don't, then you should go back to Krizia 101), and she said that she feels that part of her success comes from the fact that she is the director of every single aspect of her life: her music, her fashion, her interviews. She went on to say that in order to maintain this level of control, it helps to envision that there are cameras around her 24/7. I have to admit that at times I have also indulged in this sentiment. It's not that I think that I'm so fascinating that I would have cameras following me around 24/7, but I can relate to her in the sense that I feel that I must have self-control over everything I do at all times. I'm not going to lie, this can get a bit exhausting, but the few times I've tried to "let go" and completely lower my inhibitions have been somewhat disastrous! I know how crazy this might all sound, but I know that I can't be the only person who feels this way. Maybe, I'm just the only one who has the guts to make such a confession, but that's not the point. The point is, all of this is part of who I am: exclusive, dramatic, and a control freak! And to be honest, I like who I am...
Now, I'm going to switch gears and tell you what's actually been happening in my life. Tomorrow is my 4th or 5th weigh-in. For those who don't know, I go to a nutritionist every week, and she checks my weight and gives me a personalized menu designed to help me lose 2 pounds per week. At last week's weigh-in, I had already lost 8 pounds and 8 inches! So, tomorrow I expect to have lost another 2, and have reached the 10-pounds milestone! I'm still feeling very confident about this whole ordeal, and though I know I have a long way to go, I see nothing impeding my success! To help with my motivation, I told myself that after every 10-pounds lost, I would buy myself something nice, such as a new pair of shoes, a new shirt, etc. So, yes! Go me!
I expect that in less than a month I'll have heard from Columbia and NYU on whether they've accepted me or not, so until then, my plans are kind of frozen in space and time. I am seriously considering taking an online course designed to certify me in teaching English, in case I ever decide to go teach English to Japan or Europe... Who knows? All I know is that the future is mine, so we all better pray that the world doesn't come to an end in 2012! Hehe.
3 comments:
I'm proud of you Krizia... keep on chugging along! "Chugging" is a weird word to use... but, that's all I had at the moment... heh heh... it reminds me of the little train chugging along.
Anyway... I would also like to have cameras on me 24/7... actually... that's not what you said... you said you should live like cameras are always on you... but, I'd actually want cameras to be on me. I'm pretty full of myself and want the attention... and maybe it'll open the doors to becoming a celebrity... heh heh... it's a win-win-win situation for me!
Anyway... enough about what I want... back to you since this is your blog... the path ahead of you seems very open... so, I hope you all the best in avoiding any traffic or collisions that may slow/stop you down from reaching the destinations you have in mind!
The whole camera following you 24/7 thing made me think of a quote that has been said by many people, many times over: "Character is who you are when you think no one is watching" So the notion that you would always be watched has to affect your character in someway I assume no? For example, if you know you're always being watched then you wouldn't do anything questionable. However that thought seems to the canceled out by the countless reality stars that still reveal their ugly character with camera's on them. Maybe their heightened sense of propriety was worn down the longer the camera's were rolling?
I guess I speculated all that to ask you what aspects of your character, favorable and not, might be revealed if you got your wish.
Just a thought provoking question that you don't need to answer here. We can kik it up if you like ;)
@Vic - Thank you! I can only hope that the best will come knocking on your door, too.
@Jen - I'd be lying if I said that I didn't have ANYTHING to hide from others, but I know that the things that I'd rather keep private are the same as everyone else's. For instance, I don't want to be seen in my sweatpants on my lazy Sundays; I don't want people to see me reaching for that extra slice of pizza when I've had enough to eat. Feeling that there are cameras around me 24/7 prevents me from doing things that would be "questionable." However, self-control has become such an important part of my life, that it's become sort of a part of me - if that makes any sense. I don't like to reveal that I have a weaker character than I let on - I don't like for people to see me cry, for instance. And still with the weakness issue, I like to come across as an unbreakable force - not being subdued by the temptations that break other human beings (avarice, gluttony, lust), but the truth is, I'm only human just like everyone else.
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