Quarter life crisis...

I am about 22 hours away from turning 25 and I just cannot sleep.

(NOTE: I still think I am under some type of Cuban Santeria curse, by the way. My insomnia really has no logical explanation and in all honesty, I admit that I have cracked enough Cuban jokes to deserve a curse. In my defense, a good 20% of those jokes were not ill-intentioned. See, I'm joking again. Ugh! You people have no sense of humor. But regardless, I'm deeply saddened by the fact that two or three chickens were probably sacrificed because of said curse. I've paid my dues, please stop. Learn to take a joke, dude!!!)

Continuing with the topic at hand, I was watching 30 Rock, laying on my bed, when I dozed off and woke up a few minutes later only to find myself not only looking rather disheveled, but also feeling somewhat disturbed. My right leg was dangling from one side of the bed, my hair was in a cataclysmic mess (so cataclysmic in fact that I should not have even mentioned it - so, yea forget I brought it up, ok? I don't want you having mental images of my curly hair in all its splendor.) I said to myself (aloud, mind you), "Krizia Bandy, what on Earth are you doing with your life???" And then it hit me, I'm about to turn 25, and all of my expectations about what I would have accomplished by the time I'd reached this age are completely unfulfilled. (Well, not all of them - I did graduate college already, haven't aborted a baby, or gotten an STD for that matter, either, oh, and I certainly haven't gotten married in Vegas after a night of drunken debauchery!!! So, yay me!) Anyways, I realized that I am probably going through what has been dubbed as a quarter life crisis. As usual, I turned to my good ol' pal Wikipedia to read more on the subject and found that a quarter life crisis can have several of the following characteristics. Let's take a look shall we:

- confronting one's own mortality - ✓: I've already accepted the fact that I will die one day (in the distant, distant future) and no longer fear death. (Okay, not so bad.)
- insecurity concerning ability to love oneself, let alone another person - ✓: I don't need to explain this one if you read what I said about my cataclysmically messy hair. I need to learn to love the 'fro!!! But in all seriousness, sometimes I do wonder if I'm "cut out" for love. It's not that I'm exceedingly selfish, but it seems to me that sometimes there is a dilemma between loving yourself and loving someone else: why should you have to give up so many of the things you love about yourself in order to love someone else? I don't find it to be fair, but hmm, maybe that is just me. (This deserves an entire post on its own.)
- insecurity regarding present accomplishments - ✓: I did get into NYU's Graduate School and have lost 20 pounds, but I wanted to get into Columbia and lose 40... (What can I say? I've always been an overachiever.)
- re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships - ✓: I've had to get rid of a whole myriad of "friends" because they just weren't up to par. In fact, I'm holding auditions for new ones. Anyone want to be a member of my posee? Get in line behind Lady Gaga, Ke$ha, and Rihanna (okay, maybe not Rihanna, she's a bit too raunchy...)
- lack of friendships or romantic relationships, sexual frustration, and involuntary celibacy - ✓✓✓ - Pretty much self-explanatory. I won't continue to dig my own grave with this one.
- disappointment with one's job - ✓: I'd say, or "lack of a job"
- nostalgia for university, college, high school, middle school or elementary school life - ✓✓✓: 305 4 EVA!!! ♥ (visualize me trying to do that 305 hand sign, hehe)
- tendency to hold stronger opinions - ✓: I am RIGHT. ALWAYS. And you are wrong. Just deal with it. ::finger snap::
- boredom with social interactions - ✓: God, yes!!! I said, "Let's go to the OPERA," NOT "Let's watch OPRAH." But then again, there is no opera in Honduras... maybe I should be more lenient? (Yea, right.)
- loss of closeness to high school and college friends -✓✓✓ Again, self-explanatory. People change, though. No hard feelings.
- financially-rooted stress (overwhelming college loans, unexpectedly high cost of living) - ✓: Actually, this one isn't so bad. Fortunately, I was able to get out of college without any school loans (thanks to my parental units, naturally) and I have enough money in the bank to actually be considering a trip to Europe sometime this summer, but still... I SHOULD be making like a million dollars (a month) by now!!!
- loneliness, depression and suicidal tendencies - ✓: Yes, except for the suicidal tendencies part, those have actually tamed down as of late. (I think it's probably because of all the endorphins. Either that, or they're just putting "happy chemicals" into the food we consume here in Honduras. Hey, it's totally possible. Those baleadas are soooo addictive. Note: Baleadas are one of Honduras's most original and popular foods. A baleada is a wheat flour tortilla, often quite thick, folded in half and filled with mashed fried beans, cheese, and cream.)
- desire to have children - N/A - Wooooooooooo! One that does not apply due to the fact that I am like allergic to children (and I think children are allergic to me, too.) THANK GOD!
- a sense that others are doing better than oneself - ✓: Don't most people feel this way, though? Aren't we all all vindictive, conniving creatures deep down, always lusting over what others have? No? (Oh, right. Maybe this is just one of those girl secrets that I should not have revealed. Oops. Sorry!!!)
- frustration with social skills - ✓: I'm writing on my blog at 2:30am on a Friday? Yea, my social skills are currently lacking. But, I was DA BOMB in college! I was even BIG IN JAPAN, for crying out loud!!! UGH!

So yea, I think that's settled. Phew, I feel much better now that it's out in the open! Actually, the fact that there is a whole Wikipedia article written about it makes me feel like I'm not alone in this world. I say we form an alliance: Quarter Life Crisis Sufferers Unite (QLCSU.) Yea, I'll admit the name could improve - but it's 2:30am people?! What do you expect!!!??? My vocabulary isn't at its bestest right now. (Yes, that was a joke. Albeit, a lame grammar-based one, but an intentional joke, nonetheless. I can be funny too, you know? Seriously, I know I'm rumored to be wise beyond my years and all, but I do like to joke every so often. Hint, hint: Cuba! hehe)

In conclusion, Happy Mother Effin' Birthday to me! =) Cheers!

Note: Contrary to what some people may think of me (not that I'm overly concerned with others's opinions, because again, I'm right and they're wrong, hehe), I truly believe that being able to laugh at and make fun of oneself is a necessary trait to have.

"Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out of it alive."