Things aren't always so peachy in the Kingdom of Bandy. The truth is, these last couple of days have been somewhat difficult. For one reason or another, I've been throwing myself a pity party, and I'm done. I am DONE! My life is what it is because I have chosen it to be that way. I chose what I studied at university, I chose to come back to Honduras, I chose the people that are in my life (or not in it), etc.
As the adult that I know I can be, I've reached a point where I'm done with feeling sorry for myself. There is nothing wrong with my life. In fact, many people would kill to be in my shoes right now. Yet, I keep on lamenting myself for what could've been but isn't, or I keep on living in the future, imagining what my life WILL be like 5, 10 years from now. As great as it is to have ambitions, the truth is I've never been good at living in the "NOW." And let me tell you my friends, that is no way to live.
Someone once said, "If you have made mistakes, there is always another chance for you. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call "failure" is not the falling down, but the staying down." And this is the moment in which I pick myself up and start to live in the now. This is the moment in which I choose to fight for myself.
What does that mean, exactly? I have no idea. As I said before, I've never been very good at shutting my brain off and just enjoying the moment. But, for my own sanity, it must be done. I guess it means that the hour that I'll spend working out will just be me working out, listening to music, feeling my muscles move in conjunction with my bones, and not me trying to devise a plan to lose 30 pounds in the next 3 months. With that said, I've created a "Remix playlist," featuring only (you guessed it) remixes of some of my favorite workout songs. It's very high energy and really pumps me up, so I encourage y'all to download the songs and add them to your own playlist.
So I’ve been on a diet now for several months. And sure, maybe I had a gelato or two when I was in New York, but I was in NEW-motherf***ing-YORK, of course I was going to have a gelato in the city that boasts about having the world’s second largest concentration of Italians per square mile, outnumbered by only Italy itself. And yea, every time I went to Miami (three times so far) I had too many sugar-infused coffees and mojitos for my own good. But again, I was in Miami, and as any good traveler would tell you, “when in Rome, do as the Romans do.”
As any person who’s trying to lose weight could attest to, you never think about food nearly as much as when you’re on a diet. When you’re counting calories, the only things that seem to cross your mind are, “Shit! I got invited to a party tonight. I hope they don’t have cake,” or “Ooooh, that lobster looks delicious!” (Even if you’re allergic to shellfish.) Point being, you think about food a lot more than any normal human being should. As the rational creatures that I know we are, you would expect that we’d be able to control our thoughts regarding food. But alas, I’ve tried time and time again to no avail.
So there I was, lying on my bed on a Wednesday afternoon reading Jen Lancaster’s “Such A Pretty Fat,” which you guessed it, is about a girl struggling with her weight, body-image, etc. For some reason, I started thinking about tiramisu. At some point in the past I’d asked my friends the somewhat ridiculous question, “If I were a food, what kind of food would I be?” And they’d all agreed that I was tiramisu. “Why?” I’d asked them. They all proceeded to say something along the lines of, “tiramisu has many layers, therefore it’s complex; it must take tons of time to prepare (which I took as, it takes a long time to figure you out), it’s delicious and sophisticated (why yes, I am), and who doesn’t like tiramisu (right again, except for a few haters that I’ve gained over the years, I’m pretty much loved universally.)”
Then I remembered Julia Robert’s spiel on “My Best Friend’s Wedding,” in which she compares herself to crème brulee, asking her best friend (aka, the guy she’s in love with) to pick her over his fiancée (who she compares to jello.) And then it hit me, if I’m tiramisu, then I’ve been in situations in the past in which someone has picked nasty, common, cheap-ass jello over tiramisu. The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. “Who picks jello over tiramisu?” I mean, you can buy jello at Walgreens for crying out loud. Sure, you can find it all over the world now and it only takes like 30 minutes to make, but it’s jello!!! They serve it to sick people at hospitals. It’s what people eat when they can’t digest properly, or when they’ve lost a molar or something.
Tiramisu on the other hand, not only has coffee, but it goes well with coffee too. It has Mascarpone cheese (cheese immediately makes anything better), cinnamon (which accelerates your metabolism), chocolate shavings (I don’t need to talk about the orgasmic elements of chocolate, do I?), and not to mention another universal favorite, alcohol! Tiramisu literally means “pick me up,” what does jello mean? "..." That's right, nothing! Oh, and if you didn't already know, tiramisu is Italian. Jello? Plain-old American. Anything from Italy automatically gets like 10 bonus points.
And then I thought to myself, “Seriously, what kind of moronic bigot would ever pick jello over tiramisu?” If you were diabetic or something like that, then I would understand and be sympathetic to your plight. But disease-related reasons aside, why else would anyone ever pick jello over tiramisu? And if you say, “it’s because I don’t like tiramisu,” then my answer would be simple, “Well then, that makes you a class-A idiot, meaning that I no longer want to waste my time with you. So please do me a favor and see yourself out of my life! And no, you cannot exit through the gift shop!” Oh wait, I guess we’re not really talking about desserts anymore are we?
The thing with jello, my dear friend, is that though it may be pretty popular (especially with kids and diseased, bedridden people) and might change color from time to time, it’ll always be essentially the same. At some point, jello will get boring, and if you change its recipe, chances are, it won’t set anymore. Tiramisu, on the other hand, has evolved and adapted (and will continue to do so), no matter what restaurant or household it’s being served at. Tiramisu isn't a safe choice. It's always going to be more difficult to find (and more expensive, too) than jello. But once you decide to go for that first bite, you certainly won't be disappointed.
1. Books. I buy books. LOTS of them. I love the smell and feel of a new book. I love seeing stacks and stacks of books in my room. I do get around to reading most of the books that I buy, but I have some in my library that I’ve never read. That doesn’t stop me from buying more books, though. Every single time that I travel, I HAVE to come back with at least 5 books. And so, my collection keeps on growing.
2. Christmas music. I love Christmas music A LOT. Something about it just fills me up with warmth and hope. Therefore, I am guilty of listening to Christmas music even when the holiday season hasn’t even started. My all-time favorite: Mariah Carey’s “All I want for Christmas is you.”
3. Dancing like a fool... in my underwear. Not much explaining needed here. But yea, when I’m alone in my room, I tend to pretend that I’m Lady Gaga (or Britney, or whoever) and dance around in my underwear. If I ever “perform” in front of you, then you can be certain that I trust you.
4. German-chocolate cake. ‘Nuff said. If you want to make me break my diet, give me a slice of this.
5. Gossip Girl. Gossip Girl is based on a book series by Cecily von Ziegesar, and it’s really targeted at teens. I’ve been watching the show since its first season back in 2007, when I was still 21. I’m now 25 and am still hooked on it. I love everything about it: the drama, the fashion, the music, etc. The characters carry themselves as if they were royalty – they dress exceptionally well, speak eloquently, attend fancy parties. If you know anything about me, then you’d know that I’m fascinated by that kind of world. And so, Gossip Girl is my guilty pleasure because I feel like I can have that ultra-glamorous lifestyle just by watching the show
6. Lady Gaga. I’m probably the biggest Lady Gaga fan in Honduras, and it’s not something that I’m exactly proud of. Lady Gaga makes incredibly catchy music and despite what people say about her, I think that she is a positive role model in the way that she promotes self-acceptance and self-love. That said, I’m a smart 25-year-old and I know that I’m way past the age where it's okay to be obsessed with celebrities. Yet, despite my better judgment, I was Lady Gaga for Halloween last year and recently spent $775+ to go to one of her concerts ($275 on the ticket, $500 on airfare to Miami, etc.) Yep, Lady Gaga is probably my ultimate guilty pleasure. At least for now.
7. Lattes. I drink at least 2 lattes a day. I take them with non-fat milk and 3 packets of Splenda, you know, so that I don’t sabotage my diet. So, why is it a guilty pleasure? Because I, as most of you know, have a lot of trouble sleeping through the night, and as such, shouldn’t be putting so much caffeine into my body. Ah, but there is something about the smell of fresh coffee. And then, during the holiday season, I always add spices to my lattes – cinnamon, pumpkin pie spice, etc. Ah, it’s about the simple joys!
8. Name calling with my friends. I’m not a mean girl, I swear. But there’s something about calling people I dislike “bitches, bastards, and soul-sucking assholes” that makes me all tingly inside. Especially when I’m gossiping with my friends. The truth is, I think this is something that we all do. So, I’m just being honest about the fact that even I (as mature and sophisticated as I claim to be) engage in this catty behavior.
9. Perfumes. I buy too many perfumes and I have several signature scents. However, there are times when I spray perfume on myself (especially on my wrists) just so that I can be sniffing myself all day long. I know I must look like a freak smelling my wrist all day, but what can I say? That’s why it’s a guilty pleasure. The sad thing is, later on I wonder where my freaking $100/bottle of perfume went! Lol. Right now, I’m REALLY into Thierry Mugler’s Alien. I’m sniffing myself right now. Haha.
10. Scented candles. Pretty much a continuation of the previous one. As you can tell, I’m really big on smells. I love having scented candles around, and I don’t mind spending $25+ on a candle (which is ludicrous, I know!) But in my defense, have you smelled those from Henri Bendel’s collection? Fig is just to die for, and don’t even get me started on the holiday ones. Something about scented candles makes me feel warm and fuzzy. What can I say? I’m weird, I know.
Okay. So, I've got a confession to make. I LOVE playlists. I have way too many of them for my own good. But I REALLY do need them; they help me keep my music organized and allow me to easily update my iPhone.
I don't know why, but lately I've been feeling very... hmm, what's the word I'm looking for? "Romantic?" Nah. "Mushy." No. Aha, "Lovey-dovey!" And the truth is, for the life of me, I don't know why. It's very odd. I've found that I'm waking up in a good mood, singing love songs, and skipping around my room (True story!) It's like I'm starting to believe in love again. How weird, right? In any case, since I don't have much to say tonight (and it seems that this blog is becoming a guilty pleasure of mine), I decided to share my "Krizia in love" playlist. Some songs remind me of people I've had feelings for in the past, others don't. But, these are all songs that I've played (and still play) when I feel that the love bug is starting to get to me again. Also, as you can imagine, there are many languages featured on it. You know me, always keeping it international. And, you know what's the best part? No Backstreet Boys's song! Looks like both the range of my emotions and my musical taste have evolved over the years. In all seriousness, I hope some of you are able to find the songs and get around to listening to them. I can assure you - it'll make for a really "love-ly" experience. (Ugh, I'm such a nerd. Maybe it's time to put my Cherry red lips and "the girls" to good use and go find myself a man! Yea, let's just leave it at that.)
For the record, and you may have realized this already, all of my latest posts include a song at the beginning. When I embed a song onto a post, it’s (obviously) because I’d like you to hear it while reading whatever it is that I’ve written. I know some of you read this while you’re bored at work and probably don’t get to hear the music, but yea, I just wanted to put that out there. The reason why I include a song with each post is because I’d like to create a multi-sensory experience (also why I’m making an effort to post more pictures.)
The songs are either directly related to the post, or they describe my mood while writing it. For instance, the song I added in the post where I recapped my NYC trip was Skrillex’s remix of Benny Benassi’s “Cinema,” because it was my theme song of the trip. Every time we were cruising down the streets of Manhattan, we were always blasting that song on the radio (yea, we used public transportation just for the sake of it, to be able to say “hey, we were on the NYC subway,” but most of the time, we were in a car.)
In the “Cherry lips” post, I included Garbage’s song because everyone knows that red lips are kind of my signature look. Also, I was alluding to the fact that Cherry (my alter ego) is making more and more appearances these days, so you better hide yo’ kids, hide yo’ wives, and hide yo’ husbands, too! (And I hope to God that you all got that reference because if you didn’t it can only mean two things: 1) You were living under a rock for the latter half of 2010, and 2) You obviously were not a part of my life during said time period.) And here I am going off on a tangent. Ay Miss Bandy, whatever will become of you???
Anyways, I’m sure you get the point of these last 3 paragraphs. The music is here for a reason! Now, on to the actual post for today.
This weekend my family and I went away to Copan Ruinas, a quaint town located about 3 hours away from my city, San Pedro Sula, which is in very close proximity to the Guatemalan border, but most importantly, the Mayan ruins of Copan. We didn’t end up going to the ruins because 1) It was raining; 2) My knee cyst ruptured, leaving me in a lot of pain (I’m ok, though); 3) We’ve been to the ruins like a million times already.
Copan is such a magical place. Every time I went to the ruins in the past, and found myself walking through the ancient buildings, a sense of serenity would always come over me. It really felt as if I’d gone through a time machine and had been transported to the Mayan Golden Age. I always like going to the ruins because I get to zone out and think about my identity, my place in time, past vs. present vs. future, etc. In any case, we weren’t able to go to the ruins this time, but the town adjacent to them gives off the same “frozen-in-time” vibe, with its stone-paved streets, narrow walkways, central plaza, etc. We have a lot of family friends in Copan, and every time we go, we always end up having quite the get-together, usually at “La Casa de Todo," (www.casadetodo.com) a souvenir shop/ internet café/ restaurant/ bar/ book exchange/ everything! Last night was no exception, let’s just say that I wasn’t even planning on drinking, but ended up having 6 Cuba Libres instead! 6, coño!!!
Here I am posing with my older brother, Michael, after the 4th Cuba Libre... I really do look Middle Eastern, don't I? I guess there's no denying one's ancestry...
With my mother. The asshole you see in the background with the light blue Polo, that's my younger brother. (And it's okay, I call him "THE ASSHOLE" all the time. It's either that or "MOTHER FUCKER," this last one thanks to the movie Horrible Bosses, hehe.) I'm kidding, of course (but you already knew that.) His name is Erick.
Anyways, I woke up feeling fine, and after a hearty breakfast (certainly not diet friendly - these small-town folk don’t know anything about fat free or low carb, lol), I proceeded to walk around the town, perusing the small shops and taking pictures of things I found interesting.
These are made by the Lenca people, one of the remaining, and most prominent, indigenous groups in Honduras.
Copan - San Pedro Sula. Cute, huh?
Of course, I couldn't forget about the church.
And that was my weekend. It was a nice break from everyday life, but I can't deny that I'm a city girl, through and through. I miss my concrete edifices (even if the ones here aren't that impressive.) When one of you guys comes to visit me (and I'm really hoping at least one of you comes before I leave Honduras permanently), we'll definitely hit Copan up!
Photo shoot! Just because I got my hair done, I'm bored, and I'm finally starting to look how I feel on the inside! Whoever said nerds had to be ugly???
Starting Phase II: Muscle Definition. About to punch a nigga...
1. Ask out a total stranger ✓ 2. Attend Mardi Gras ✓ 3. Become a sommelier (wine connoisseur) 4. Buy yourself something nice ✓ 5. Climb a mountain (Preferably Mt. Fuji) 6. Do something for charity ✓ 7. Do something physically adventurous (skydiving, bungee jumping) 8. Drive on the Pacific Coast Highway 9. Fire a rifle, shotgun, or pistol (Every modern woman should know how to shoot a gun!) 10. Get drunk ✓ 11. Get my Master’s degree 12. Go on a cruise ship 13. Go skinny-dipping 14. Go to New York City ✓ 15. Go to a musical festival ✓ 16. Have a love affair in a foreign country ✓ 17. Have sex 18. Kiss in the rain ✓ 19. Learn how to tango (Been obsessed with learning how to tango ever since I saw “Scent of a Woman”) 20. Lose a significant amount of weight (30 pounds must count, right?) ✓ 21. Participate in a race (5K, Marathon, etc.) ✓ (I've done a 5K, next up is a half-marathon!) 22. Pick up a new language ✓ 23. Quit your job ✓ 24. Read at least 50 of the Modern Library’s 100 Best Novels of all Time (http://www.modernlibrary.com/top-100/100-best-novels/) 25. See snow (make snow angels and a snowman, have a snowball fight) 26. Sing karaoke ✓ 27. Smoke weed ✓ 28. Spend a week in Paris 29. Spend a weekend in Las Vegas 30. Stay up all night ✓ 31. Swim with dolphins 32. Tell someone “I love you” and actually mean it - (I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone “I love you” and meant it. I’ve written it, but that doesn’t count. When I really love someone [romantically, that is], it’s hard for me to tell them how I feel; the closest thing I’ve come to saying out loud is “I care about you” or its Spanish equivalent “Te quiero.” Again, this is just in a romantic context. My family and friends get heartfelt “I love you’s” all the time, though!) 33. To be heartbroken longer than you were actually in love ✓ - (Reason why it’s so hard for me to tell people how I feel about them…) 34. Try a crazy hairdo (chop it all off, dye it a new color) 35. Try absinthe ✓ 36. Try different and exotic foods ✓ 37. Visit Rome 38. Visit Tokyo ✓ 39. Watch at least 50 of the IMDB Top 250 movies ✓ 40. Watch the sunrise with someone you have feelings for ✓
22/40 = 55%
Not so bad, I guess, considering I have 5 years to do the rest. What about you? What are some things you'd like to do before you're 30??? Comment below, write on your own blog, or email me if you don't want to make it public. I really want to know!
